Iris Carson Obituary (1930 – 2021) – Tucson, AZ

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CARSON, Iris Arlene (Downing)

February 5, 1930 – June 17, 2021

I see it in me, in almost everything I do. About the love and devotion to my family, how and what I cook, in my body language, how I have disciplined my children, my hobbies and above all in the face that stares at me in the mirror. I see so much of her in me.

Iris Arlene Carson (Downing) left this earth in her human form and went before her on the 17th.

Born in Colorado on February 5, 1930, to Doris and Lloyd Downing, with their older siblings; Brother, Thane and Sisters, Thelma and Louise. Iris’ early life was marked by great grief and difficulty. Her mother died of complications from childbirth just seventeen days after Iris was born. At that time she lived with her aunt Amanda and Uncle Art on their farm, where she said she had a very happy childhood. She rode horses, her favorite was Trill, and she crawled up in the hay mowing and found little kittens. She lived there until she was six years old. After that, Iris lived in different households due to ever-changing family dynamics. During this time, half-siblings Carol, Gary and Duane joined Iris’ blended family. Eventually she ended up back with her aunt Amanda until Amanda died at the age of thirteen, and she returned to her father Lloyd and his wife Oda until they were 16. After that Iris lived in different households and earned her living cleaning, cooking and ironing; she also worked at the local drug store in Wray, Colorado. In the middle of her senior year of high school, she was invited to move into the love of her life, the home of Dean Carson’s family.

After graduating from Wray High School in 1948, Iris moved to Greeley, Colorado and worked in the courthouse while Dean attended college there.

When I said Dean Carson was the love of her life, never was a more accurate statement made. Dean and Iris started dating when they were 14 years old. He said when he saw her playing soccer in her overalls with pigtails in her hair, he knew she was the girl to him.

They were together throughout high school and were married in 1949. They raised a family and tried farming for a while, but when Iris became pregnant with their second baby, she told Dean they had to move back to town because it was easy The farm is too hard without electricity, indoor installations, heating or running water. After finding out that their eldest son Kit was deaf, Dean and Iris moved to Tucson, Arizona to attend the Arizona State School for the Deaf and Blind. Dean worked for a swimming pool construction company and Iris became the full-time woman and mother she had wanted and longed for all her life and boy was she good at it!

In 1961, Dean Carson founded Concrete and Decking with Iris at his side and quickly became the leading concrete company in Tucson. It has been said that behind every successful man there is a woman who shows the way, and that is exactly what Iris did. While Dean supported the family with his work and Carson Concrete, Iris was his secretary and accountant while at the same time she cared for, shaped and supported our family in their daily endeavors from home. She was so dedicated and worked so hard to raise six children. We always had clean laundry (15 loads a week), without a dryer, only a clothesline until the 1970s. There was breakfast, lunch and dinner every day and that was in the days before the microwave. She told me that the neighborhood kids liked to come over because the house always smelled like something good was cooking. Mom was an excellent seamstress and made many ball and bridesmaid dresses, school clothes and homemade Halloween costumes. Refurbishing furniture was a hobby she enjoyed and she made some beautiful pieces that were kept in the family. Mom spent so many hours sitting in the stands and watching her sons and daughters participate in various sports and other school activities. She was selfless, beautiful, strong, and brave. She went ultra-glide on the beach in Mexico at the age of 70 and drove to Colorado by herself (just her, her cheese and crackers, and her 38 special by her side). Mom loved driving quads and four-wheel drive, and she pretty much bought all of the family cars on her own. These salespeople didn’t scare her. She was a great dancer too, she mastered the twist. The two things she didn’t achieve in her life were skydiving and getting a tattoo (just a tiny little rose). Mom was the taskmaster in the family because she knew Dad wasn’t. She said her greatest achievement was producing six children and raising them to adulthood without them ending up in jail or being addicted to drugs. And that was in the 60s!

Not only was she our mother, she was a mother to every child she met. She was a fierce warrior and protector. She fought for those who couldn’t fight for themselves. Mom found out that one of our friends had been beaten with a belt by her father. Mom went to her house and told dad that if she ever saw a bruise on our friend she would take her away from him. She let our brother’s friend stay in our RV when life at home got too tough. She bought gifts for children whose parents couldn’t afford them and spent countless hours babysitting neighborhood children whose single mothers had to work. She was also very compassionate to people in need. Once she was in the grocery store and there was a family, a mother, a father and a couple of kids, and they didn’t have enough money to pay for their purchases. So she paid for her meal and then invited them to stay with us for a few days until they could move on. During the Christmas season, she asked the ASDB school if there were any children who couldn’t go home for the holidays, and there always were. So there were many Christmases when we had extra children in the house and there were always presents for them and us. She was also an extreme animal lover. We made frequent trips to the Humane Society, where she knew her by name, and she always took one of us kids with her so that whenever she brought home a dog or cat, she’d tell Papa that WE really wanted to. But he knew. Mom loved camping, fishing, and hunting, and she never complained about all the work she had to do to make these trips one of the best times of our lives. After Mom and Dad bought their home in Eagar, AZ, these great family reunions continued no matter how big the family got. The July 4th celebration became a family tradition there, including building a family car for the parade, an afternoon barbecue, and fireworks at night. Much of the family brought their tents and mobile homes and set them up in the back of the property. We sat around the campfire and told stories about the family and passed on the history of the Carson clan. Mom and Dad have made sure that our family heritage, traditions and skills have been and will be kept alive.

Mom and Dad shared a love that is seldom seen these days. They were totally devoted to each other. Their life was full of good times and bad, but they always persevered and the laughter they often shared was a blessing to watch. Mum and Dad have reserved Saturday evenings for their date night. I remember sitting in the bathroom and Lawrence Welk on TV and watching mom put on her makeup and spice up for dad. She looked like Jacqueline Kennedy to me, just so beautiful. They never stopped taking care of themselves or each other. Mom left lipstick messages on the bathroom mirror for dad and that was after 50 years of marriage. They had a sense of humor and would often joke or tease each other. They kept it real. Her life fully embodied the vows to rich or poor, sickness and health. They lived it, immersed themselves in it, and prevailed as they led our families by example. The legacy of mom and dad has grown to include six children, Kit (Connie), Terry (Diana), Cathie (Mary), Susan (Dan) Hicks, John (Lori) and Deana (Michael) Vance. In addition, they have 17 grandchildren, 42 great-grandchildren and six great-great-grandchildren.

Mom’s mind, her sharp wit and her sense of humor stayed true to her until the end. Her memories rivaled those of her children and grandchildren, and she was the best storyteller. She really wanted to be with Dad and on June 17th of this year she soared. On the day Papa died, a double rainbow appeared in the sky, quite visible and, I believed, as confirmation that he had finished his journey home. On August 1st of this year, a year and a day after Papa’s death (1 + 1), the most beautiful, brightest and most lively double rainbow I have ever seen reappeared. A bigger one, a smaller one, but in tandem with each other, which shows me that mom and dad are together in wonderful harmony in the house of the Lord.

Mom and Dad, you held our hands for a while, but we will keep you in our hearts forever! We love you and miss you terribly. Until we meet again.

The rest of the family would like to express our deep gratitude to our sisters; Cathie, Mary and Susan and Dan, Susan’s husband, for dedicating their lives to taking care of mom and dad when the rest of us couldn’t or couldn’t. Cathie and Mary lived with mom and dad on Palo Verde on numerous occasions when one or the other needed care. Susan and Dan welcomed Mom to their home after her father died so she wouldn’t have to go to a care facility. They all cared for her so much, attending to their every need and need. Cathie and Mary also moved in to help out with mom. They all put their lives on hold to make the lives of mom and dad as good as possible. Towards the end, Susan and Cathie started working night shifts, changing at 3:00 a.m., and Mary and Dan joined them during the day and whenever they were needed. They all said it was an honor for them to take care of mom and that they all had such great times with her and they were with mom when she died. We would also like to thank Kelly Splane, mom’s part-time caregiver, she was not only an excellent caregiver but also a very good friend to mom and the rest of us. There are many other family members; Grandchildren and great-grandchildren who also helped. So thank you so much for the mobile hair cutting service, moving service, food to feed and the time spent playing cards and just being with them. It meant the world to them.

Services will be held on Saturday, October 2, 2021 at 10:00 a.m. at Saguaro Christian Church, 8302 E. Broadway Blvd., Tucson, AZ, 85710. After the service, lunch will be served in the church. AT THIS TIME THE CHURCH HAS TO IMPLEMENT A MASK-ALL-TIME POLICY! Instead of flowers, the family asks for donations to the youth on their own: website yoto.org or the Humane Society: www.hssaz.org Arrangements by ABBEY FUNERAL CHAPEL.

Published by Arizona Daily Star on September 5, 2021.

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